Folding

Quick sketch of author Tillie Olsen
charcoal on bond paper
(Check out the movie on Tillie Olsen.
You can also look it up on You Tube.
My sketch does not do her justice -- her
face, like her writing was magnificent.)
Barbara Muir © 2009

One of the benefits, and there are so many of this
blogging community. (I know. Where am I at?
One minute I'm decrying the technological world,
and the next happily in it up to my neck. Ah well).
As I was saying, a great plus of this world is that
it keeps us going. The simple fact of knowing that
some people are out there waiting to see what you've
done today makes you want to do something today.

I thought of the word folding on the way to school
today. There have been a number of times in my
life when I wanted to, or even did shut down for
a while. I was grievously ill in 2001, and the most
I could do for the several months I ran a high
fever and couldn't eat, was slink downstairs to
watch TV and cooking shows. Oh and I did do
writing, even professional writing. But I dictated
to my husband from my sick bed, while he sat
at the computer.

But that's not the kind of shut down, or folding
I'm talking about, I'm talking about packing in
a dream, and just quitting. I don't know why most
of the people I know who stop following a dream,
and just maintain themselves and their families are
women, but it seems to be true. Families,
especially those with young children, are so demanding,
that some of the best women artists I know
gave in to the pull of that huge responsibility,
and didn't resume. Ever.

I was thinking about folding today, because
I wanted to tell my students that if they feel
like folding (it's the end of the semester),
curling up in a ball and giving up because
one mark, or more isn't good enough, to
resist the urge.

With painters, and artists, it's the odd
misunderstanding, an overheard remark,
a show that doesn't work. I can see my
friend Jennifer and me at our first
show, held on a weekend at her house,
and our massive surprise and disappointment
that everything in that show didn't sell. Now
it seems funny, but what if the compulsion to
paint had been just a tiny bit weaker, and we
had stopped. Thank goodness we didn't.
Today many, many shows down the line, the
image of the two of us sitting flabbergasted
in her living room, unsure what was wrong
seems almost comical, but at that point we
were quite depressed.

When I had just finished university I went to
hear the writer Tillie Olsen talk about how
people give up. Her book Silences talks
about all the creative talented people (mostly women)
who never had the money, support or time
to produce their work. Successful artists
almost always had a mate in the background,
or "muse". The muse made cups of tea, made
lunch, put the children to bed, so that the
great one could work in peace. Through the
ages those muses were usually women. Today
I think many creative men also shut down because
they either decide to be the at-home parent, or
need a larger income than art may provide to
keep the family going.

The blog world, with its kind observation and
support acts as a bulwark against the
hundreds of small and large incidents in any
artists life, that could pull them away from their
work.

I for one am continually grateful for that.

Have an unfolding-and-getting-on-with-it day.