Monday, November 25, 2019

The transforming power of kindness -- thank you for yours!



The lane in winter
iPad drawing
8 x 10 inches
Barbara Muir © 2012
(As my husband drove me
to school so I could teach
tonight, we drove through 
neighbourhoods brilliantly
decorated and lit for the holidays.
It made me think of
this holiday card from an
iPad drawing I did 7 years ago.
I still like it, and I love the 
festive season.  I can't believe 
we are already moving towards December!
Happy American Thanksgiving, and
very soon Happy Holidays!)
I have always valued kindness, but  my mother's death
6  years ago, and the profound loss I felt then, began my
deep understanding that love and kindness are paramount
in this world.

When I showed in the Florence Biennale the second
time in 2015, it changed my viewpoint on this subject so
radically -- it was in a way like my former self
was eradicated.  I met such wonderful, and exceptionally
kind people that it was as one of my friend's in Toronto said,
"the bar was raised."  Exactly.

Now all of the people who are part of my world are kind -- in
every area of my life.  My new rule was pretty simple when I think
of it now, but I wouldn't have been able to express that
feeling then.  And that is that to be part of my life you've got
to love me back.  I am happy to give endlessly in teaching
situations to people who may not get me, but in my friend
circle, it's fantastic when the affection is reciprocal.

That can be a hard request in a grown up person's life.  People
who can't be kind, who are in fact the opposite, exit pretty quickly.
I don't mean because of one offhand remark, or one unkind gesture.
I mean if people don't consistently work on being kind to their friends,
to my family, to people in the world, to me -- it isn't fun spending time
with them.  And it's not about someone going through a hard time.
People do that, tell you what's up, and are still essentially kind.
Kindness matters.

Enter you!  Every single one of you boosts me up and teaches
me. I grew up in a loving, but critical environment. People
actually thought that it was their right to let me know what
was wrong with me.

Now I feel secure enough, and loved enough to know that I
want to be with people who get me.   I can never tell you enough
times how incredibly grateful I am that you do.

Have a being kind to your friends day.

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